I know I haven't been around much lately; and honestly I haven't been doing much crafting either. I wanted to apologize to all my followers for sort of last minute bailing out on you all recently. I know my blog has been neglected, and if it had feelings, I'm sure they would be hurt.
I've been focusing on my photography; and it can be viewed here. Photography is my outlet, and one of the things that lights up my life and makes me smile. I love to see what I can do, and the reactions I can arise from deep in people just with my images.
I've been missing Knox a lot lately. I'm not really sure how to explain my feelings to people who haven't lost children; especially young ones whose future was never learned, seen or shown; only dreamt of. I cry a lot about the things we're missing out on.
Of course, like all parents we dreamt about the day we'd meet Knox; and when we did we felt complete. Lately; I've felt like the light I had in my heart from my kids has dimmed some; I can't figure out how to make that 're-brighten'. Of course, I love the little girl I do have still, I would do anything for her.
For a long time after Knox died; I protected myself and I felt like he was never really here; and if I just convinced myself that I had made up the horrible things into a nightmare and I dealt with; I'd be okay. Now, I'm seeing that he was here; and it was too short; and I DO miss him.
I really miss him with all my physical and mental being and it hurts sometimes. I physically am in pain with how much I miss him most days and sometimes (A LOT lately) I can't even get through a thought without thinking about him. I've been coping and focusing my attention on everything else in life; to keep my focus off how much I miss what I had with that little warm, happy bundle in my arms.
Anyways, I plan on getting more of my crafting online soon; I need to get back into the swing of things, and gather my brain into one place.
Talk with you all soon! Or more; write to you all soon.