Tuesday, October 12, 2010

update

Hi Everyone--

I know I haven't been around much lately; and honestly I haven't been doing much crafting either. I wanted to apologize to all my followers for sort of last minute bailing out on you all recently. I know my blog has been neglected, and if it had feelings, I'm sure they would be hurt.

I've been focusing on my photography; and it can be viewed here. Photography is my outlet, and one of the things that lights up my life and makes me smile. I love to see what I can do, and the reactions I can arise from deep in people just with my images.

I've been missing Knox a lot lately. I'm not really sure how to explain my feelings to people who haven't lost children; especially young ones whose future was never learned, seen or shown; only dreamt of. I cry a lot about the things we're missing out on.

Of course, like all parents we dreamt about the day we'd meet Knox; and when we did we felt complete. Lately; I've felt like the light I had in my heart from my kids has dimmed some; I can't figure out how to make that 're-brighten'. Of course, I love the little girl I do have still, I would do anything for her.

For a long time after Knox died; I protected myself and I felt like he was never really here; and if I just convinced myself that I had made up the horrible things into a nightmare and I dealt with; I'd be okay. Now, I'm seeing that he was here; and it was too short; and I DO miss him.

I really miss him with all my physical and mental being and it hurts sometimes. I physically am in pain with how much I miss him most days and sometimes (A LOT lately) I can't even get through a thought without thinking about him. I've been coping and focusing my attention on everything else in life; to keep my focus off how much I miss what I had with that little warm, happy bundle in my arms.

Anyways, I plan on getting more of my crafting online soon; I need to get back into the swing of things, and gather my brain into one place.

Talk with you all soon! Or more; write to you all soon.

Dawn

5 comments:

Sarah said...

Dawn,I'm so sorry for you loss. My husband and I lost our first born daughter at birth 13 yrs ago. I don't know your situation or what happened but I do know that you just have to take things second by second. Then eventually you can go minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. As time goes by you'll get through the day without breaking down. I believe those little ones taken early are very special spirits and god has other plans for them. I just have faith day to day that there is a bigger plan and this is all part of it. Not that that takes away the hurt, trust me I know, but gives comfort that everything will have a purpose in the end. Again I'm so sorry for loss.
~Hugs, Sarah

Deb with Dogs said...

I will give you a big hug when I see you and if you need anything, let me know. ~Debbie

Peechy said...

just wanted to add a little note as I just read your post. Please take care and look after yourself. Seems like the feelings you tried to push away/hide are surfacing, embrace them hun, no feeling is invalid take time to heal your broken heart and He who is the God of the broken hearted will certainly restore it.

Hugz to you and your family xoxo

DORCAS said...

So Sorry for your loss. Praying for you!
~Dorcas
http://4craftyangels.blogspot.com/

DORCAS said...

So Sorry for your loss. Praying for you!
~Dorcas
http://4craftyangels.blogspot.com/