Thursday, June 24, 2010

Miss You Like Crazy

Today, I've been working around the house.

Zoe is being such a sweetie for me (which is a shock, really)!
I am doing some Walk n Rock Stuff, trying to get the last minute family members signed up, and wrangle in as many last minute donations as I can.

My mind is flooded with thoughts of Knox today.

You got here, and my heart just KNEW how to love you.
when you left so quickly, my heart never learned how to live without you.
i don't think it will ever know how to.

i can claim that I would be happy with just one more day with you.
At least I could properly tell you goodbye and how i love you so.
One more day wouldn't be enough.
I have a whole lifetime of memories I see you making in my mind that I won't get to watch. Crawling, walking and more laughing.
your few weeks of laughing is not fair.
you deserved 90 years more of those laughs.

there won't be a day in my life i don't think about you or cry for you.
most friends and family dont see the tears stream down my cheeks at least once a day, usually more but i cry everyday-- i miss you so much.

Today, it just hurts to breathe.
I miss you so much.
nothing can ever change the pain my heart feels

People have asked 'why don't you have another baby?'
Knox, you know why: nothing and no one can ever replace the love I have for you.
Mommy loves you to the moon and back, that will never change. No matter how long I have to suffer without you, I will do it and can't wait to see you again.
Love you buddy,

No comments: