Monday, May 17, 2010

Knox's Garden

Finally, I've gotten Knox's Memorial Garden into good shape. I've been keeping my eye open for a tree that won't get too large (since we rent) I can take with us if we ever move (although, I LOVE our house and where we live!) and my mom recently found a magnolia she loves, and although I adore them, and love how they bloom, it would grow too quickly for the tiny little garden.

The neighbor was over with her grandson, and during our chitchatting over the kids, I ended up telling her how her grandson, is roughly Knox's age. Which for her, kind of explained why we have a (sort-of) creepy little angel in the front garden as well as a pretty stone with some wording on it. She generously offered up a Japanese Maple that has been living in a pretty ceramic pot over at her house, but she mentioned she never found anywhere she fell in love with putting it. She has a gorgeous yard, and beautiful plants, so I don't know how she didn't find a place, but I ended up with a pretty Japanese Maple, and it looks amazing in the garden. After looking around online tonight, I think it might be some sort of an 'Orange Dream' Maple. Not sure though!

I can be honest here; I'm not religious much at all, I'm pretty open to what happens when we die. Don't get me wrong, I judge no one regarding religion, I have no reason to believe that anyone or anything is wrong. I know there is SOMETHING bigger, and SOMETHING great to look forward too and I will be with my little boy (daughter and soon to be husband) somewhere after I die- but until then, I'll keep my eyes, ears and heart open for something I feel 100% confident in. I've read a lot of books since Knox died, one being The Blue Poppy & the Mustard Seed: A Mother's Story of Loss and Hope by Kathleen Willis Morton and the Dharma she talks about really makes sense to me, I'm a very organic/naturalist type person. I also think that I've read some good Christian based books that were beneficial but a little too religious/preachy for my tastes. One of those books is 'I'll Hold You in Heaven' by Jack Hayford. I really am all about the saying- 'To Each Their Own' and the whole 'Live and Let Live' thing. People really need to just do and believe in what makes them happy. After such a large tragedy, I am a total beliver in something bigger, but I'm open to learn and talk, but not be preached to.

The stone reads:

'A gift for such a little while,

your loss just seems so wrong,

you should not have left before us,

it's with loved ones you belong.'

There are three Hydrangeas, that aren't in bloom right now in the garden (I know, they'll get bigger each year!) I planted LOTS of bulbs, that I'm just waiting to see what they are because I've since forgotten. The crocus came and went, and were adorable popping out over all the weeds that had taken over in the winter.

My favorite poem to end with:

'Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.'

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